01. Trying Something Different

A January and February 2026 wrap up.

Mar 06, 2026

At the beginning of 2026, I made myself a list of New Year’s of Resolutions. It’s something I have done every year since I was in middle school. But in the grand tradition of every Bucket List and 30 Day Challenge made since the beginning of time, each year I have mostly abandoned my past set goals with the ease of an indifferent shrug.

But this year is a little a different, alright.

“I feel like I should be really excited,” I say to my writing group. It’s a group of six of us, and we are all sitting around a table in an empty film studio.

“One of my goals this year was to get published. I think I am excited? I should be excited. It is good to be in a literary magazine.”

But I am not happy at all when I say this. Instead, I follow up this statement, as always, with something closer to the truth.

“I guess that means I have to actually attempt my other writing resolutions this year!” I laugh.

The circle chuckles.

“If only I didn’t succeed in my easiest goal until October!” I say. “Then I could just wait until next year to do anything else! Haha! Haha!”

The circle is laughing too. Hard. They all understand two creative truths: 1) That talking about writing is much easier than doing it, and 2) that finding any excuse to not write should be an Olympic sport.

So that brings us here. You might be able to guess what one of those New Year’s Resolutions was by now.

Let’s be official and check it off together.

Tada! (With a heart sticker and everything!)

…

One of the reasons it has taken me a long time to come back to this Substack is that I just feel very awkward doing so. I am very sad that I didn’t do a wrap up blog post for 2025. I started it, but never finished it, simply because I got stuck on the question of “How do I explain why I haven’t been posting in a way that wipes away all of my excuses, inner shame, and, of course, the perceived judgement from all my friends, family, and acquaintances that I will recieve over said blog post.”

And of course this is a stupid question to ask myself for many reasons. Especially since it assumes that anyone I know actually reads my blog posts.

I want to write. I really like reading other people’s blogs when they just talk about their life. I want to post about my month and the things I am interested in because I think it’s fun.

And even if I do not do it, I won’t stop thinking about it. An idea can dry out, wither like an neglected office plant, but it doesn’t disappear. The plant is still there sitting by the window, patiently waiting for bit of water regardless of the dust it gathers.

Truth is, the only thing that is actually stopping myself from writing is me. I want to do a cute little monthly blog post about my life and this is the first one. Everyone can handle this change, including me. And hopefully this change will push me towards other changes in my creative endeavors.

No more dumb excuses of why I shouldn’t do something because it “doesn’t feel right.” Case in point: me wanting to do a monthly blog post for 2026, but saying that now I “can’t” do it, because I missed January.

Said photographic evidence of what I was busy doing at the end of the January and not writing.

It’s also March by the time I write this, but who cares. ~~I almost didn’t publish this again because I guess we are at War with Iran and I just felt weird posting.~~ ~~Ah, the ethical publishing questions of today’s modern era.~~

Let’s finish this New Year’s Resolution. This a little bit about my February and January 2026.

Doing

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My favorite thing I did the past two months was go see the Keith Haring Exhibit in Columbia. The piece I actually enjoyed seeing the most was “Apocalypse” , an exhibit I was unaware of until now.

And here is a much nicer picture of it I found online, one not taken by me.

Even though Haring is mostly celebrated for his cartoony and quirky street art, I really enjoyed how dark and different this piece was. The whole exhibit was really amazing and I feel so lucky to see so much of Haring’s work in person for the first time.

Other highlights of this month included my car battery dying when I was picking up lunch for work, getting diagnosed with “knee carpal tunnel,” and saying goodbye to some close friends who were moving.

We also had a snow day. It was incredibly fun, but so was turning 26.

This valentines day was really special, and I have a lot of feelings about being older, but I am glad for cake.

Reading

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Giovanni’s Room- A classic that was totally worth picking up. The gender stuff in this book is so weird and interesting. I know that sad gay stories are maybe not everyone’s favorite, but I really liked this book. This is my first James Baldwin novel, but for sure it won’t be my last. ★★★★★

Hamnet- I got the audiobook on libby, but purchased the paper back at my local bookstore. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to finish this book without crying. I was right. Cried like a baby. Can’t wait to do it all again when I watch the movie in time for the Oscars this month! ★★★★★

Save the Cat- I finally did it. I read the damn book. Am I finally a writer now? ★★★

Killing and Dying- A cool very melancholic slice of life short comic collection by cartoonist Adrian Tomine. Personal favorite short stories were “Go Owls” and “Killing and Dying,” but the whole collection is incredibly strong. Each segment feels like a small part of a bigger story and each ending leaves you going- “Huh…”, but for me, this is a part of the book’s appeal. ★★★★½

Beautiful Darkness- An old recommendation that I got from a friend in college and had just never followed up with until now. It’s a sparkly princess nightmare about the nastiness of polite society, that never gets old with its juxtaposition of such cute characters to jaw dropping horror. I only hope that when I die, I too get to have a bunch of adorable fairy tale figures pop out of my skull and start beating each other to death! ★★★★½

Listening

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Started my yearly 365 Day playlist for the third year in a row. I really recommend it for basically anyone who has a music streaming app. It’s a great way to create a go to playlist, and it’s a much better version of Spotify Wrapped than what is currently in existence.

Please listen if you feel inclined.

I also really enjoyed listening to this production of “How I Learned to Drive.” I only found this play because I was looking for a dramatic monologue for an audition. Didn’t get the part, but I will never hear “Dedicated to the One I Love” the same way again. ★★★★★

I also really enjoyed hearing this rendition of the short story “Tiger Baby.” I am slowly chipping away at the Levar Burton Reads Podcast and have been avoiding this short story for a while. I was actually surprised how much I liked it, and the reveal at the end is surprisingly good. ★★★½

Watching

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One of my new years resolutions this year is to actually finish all of Star Trek Deep Space Nine and Voyager. My theme for this year is actually from Star Trek too.

And like yeah, a yearly vision board and collage is corny, but so is Star Trek. So naturally they go together.

Many of the episodes I have watched so far are ones I hadn’t seen since being a kid or ones haven’t seen at all. I actually have never seen “Far Beyond the Stars” or “Year of Hell” before this January and cannot stop thinking about them. Hearing the line, “You must be the dreamer and the dream.” completely altered my brain chemistry, and I will never be the same again. ★★★★★

Favorite movie the past two months has to be “If I had Legs I’d Kick You.” I felt like I needed to take a long drag from a cigarette after finishing this film, and I don’t even smoke. ★★★★★

I did also watch Wuthering Heights (★★★), and I cannot defend Emerald Fennel anymore. Might I recommend the Free Musical Version of Wuthering Heights that you can watch instead?

THEY MADE “THE MOORS” A CHARACTER. I REPEAT, THEY MADE “THE MOORS” A CHARACTER. ★★★★

Creating

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I think the thing I am most happy about is that I finished a DnD one shot in January. It of course turned into a two shot (I still don’t actually know how to make an actually interesting DnD one shot that lasts only three hours rn), but I had fun. I wish DMing wasn’t so stressful, and that I didn’t feel so insecure after finishing.

I also finished setting up my reading journal and I do feel proud of it.